Just a little bit.

Everyday that passes, even as I get older, I've learned some things along the way:

Always keep change in your car. You never know when that elusive tollbooth will appear.

Never say never... NEVER. That 90s fanny pack might come in handy.

Nail polish gets all the gunk out. So if you're a boy, don't be afraid to use it.


When somebody tells you that they have a dark, evil heart, listen and believe it. Take that as a free warning and run for your life.

Don't keep pens that have run out of ink. That's just plain stupid.

Don't ever cheat, don't ever lie and don't ever lie about cheating. Peace of mind is a comfy pillow to sleep on at night. And in the end, you'll just end up hurting yourself.

Caramel apples are one of life's pleasures. Eat them.

If you're gonna laugh, don't do so quietly. Someone might need that laugh more than you!

It's not nice to stare at people in an elevator. It is equally rude to ask, "hey, wanna smell something weird?"

Stop pretending that you care. Because you don't.

Don't just drink tea, eat it. Vosges make the best matcha green tea chocolates.

Pink is not a gay color. Neither is purple.

Keep a secret tune handy. This is less irritating than a scream when that spider crawls across your screen. On the same note, ukeleles are fun to play this time of year.

Don't eat bacon chocolate. Just don't.

Keep your friends close and don't make enemies. If somebody hates you, give them a Target gift card. They can't hate you forever after that.

Know your time zones. At least you don't have to remember as much if you lived in Russia (11).

It's okay to lose your paddle once in a while. Nothing is more romantic than being rescued (without the cheese, of course!).

Stop trying to keep up with the Joneses. Even they have become obsolete.

Dip your Oreo cookies in cold milk. It's yummy and tasty, 'nuf said.

Be true to YOU. This doesn't mean steal all the popcorn in the bowl. It means listening to what your heart says (whether that includes being a can-can girl [or boy]). You're also not responsible for other people's emotions. That's not your problem.

Always keep your gas tank at least a quarter full. Your friends may use your 4-door sedan as a getaway car. You need to at least be ready for that.

Never trust a man with a drink in his hand. It's not really you he wants.

Go someplace where nobody speaks English, even if it's your parent's basement during a neighborhood game of mahjong. Hilarity is watching people curse in their native tongue.

Sometimes dreams don't come true; but know that you won't die, nobody's going to eat you and that everything - e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. - happens for a reason.

Even if that reason is just a happenstance meeting of that stranger who took the lint off your jacket.